What Actually Happens at an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Meeting?

I’ve been going to AA meetings for fifteen years and I love them. I always feel better after attending an AA meeting then I did before. I might be having a really difficult day, but I know that if I attend a meeting feeling down, I will walk out feeling uplifted. I didn’t always know this would be the case. Wisdom comes with age.

What makes someone instantly feel better after hanging out with a bunch of random people they don’t know? Why would anyone go to a meeting just to tell everyone their problems and declare that they can’t control their drinking? Hell, what actually happens at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting?

There are so many pre-conceived notions about alcoholism and AA that I hope to shine some light on what AA meetings are actually like. Hopefully, I can diminish any fear that would keep someone from attending. I’ve learned that fear keeps people sick for an extremely long time. Getting your butt into an AA meeting sooner rather than later can save your life.

Things that do happen at AA meetings:

When someone walks into an AA meeting for the first time they will see chairs for everyone to sit. All are welcome. There might be tables with different AA literature on them or no tables at all. AA members will most likely be chatting away with each other, laughing, and having an enjoyable time. One of us might say hello to you and reach out to shake your hand. We will most likely introduce ourselves and ask your name. We won’t ask if you’re an alcoholic or if you have a problem with alcohol. We might point out the table of snacks and coffee. Most of us love coffee and snacks but it’s ok if you don’t.

Once the meeting starts the secretary ( a person who has at least a few weeks of sobriety) will read through a preamble of what AA is and give a little bit of information about the specific meeting you are attending. Information like what type of meeting it is (speaker, discussion, etc..) and what days of the week it meets. The secretary will ask if this is anyone’s first AA meeting that would like to be recognized. You do not have to raise your hand. However, if you do raise your hand, all you have to do is say hello and your name. You do not have to say that you are an alcoholic.

Once the formalities of the meeting have started the secretary will then introduce the speaker (a person that has worked the 12 steps of AA) or ask for topics that people would like to discuss. At this point you can sit back and relax. Listen to the speaker or listen to the comments of those in the room.

At the end of the meeting the speaker will read a statement reminding everyone that meetings are Anonymous and to please keep it that way. Alcoholics come from all walks of life, all races, both genders and all ages. We come from different economic backgrounds and hold many different professions. A founding part of AA is never to break the anonymity of someone that you see at a meeting. Unfortunately addicts and alcoholics are still harshly judged, and it could mean the loss of a job or some other catastrophic event if someone’s anonymity is broken.

The last part of any meeting consists of the secretary asking the group members to hold hands and say a prayer. You do not have to participate during the prayer if you don’t feel comfortable. AA is not bound to religion; it is a spiritual program.

Things that Don’t happen at an AA meeting:

Walking into an AA meeting can be awkward the first time. If you are heading to one, most likely you are struggling with alcohol and going through some rough times in your life. No one that’s happy, content and having a fine time in the game of life decides to randomly attend an AA meeting. Don’t let the fear of the unknown or any pre-conceived notions about AA stop you from attending a meeting if you are struggling. See for yourself what we are all about and then decide if you want to come back or not.

You will not be asked to share your story at an AA meeting. You are not required to say your name and that you’re an alcoholic. You might not be one. That’s for you to find out, not for any AA member to tell you. You do not have to share a comment or tell anyone anything about yourself. If people are commenting on a topic and it’s your turn to talk, you can simply say your name and that you pass. Everyone will smile and look to the next person to speak.

Essentially you don’t have to do anything at an AA meeting except listen and be respectful to others. The best advice I can give is to listen to others and look for the similarities in their stories, not the differences. You’re going to feel uncomfortable; we all did when we first walked through the doors of our first meeting. However, when you enter an AA meeting you will find the most compassionate and kind people in the world. Alcoholics are some of the best people I have ever met in my life. They understand me better than my blood relatives and without them I would surely be dead or in jail.

If you or someone you love has a problem with drugs or alcohol, please look at these resources.

Recovery resources:

Alcoholics Anonymous: https://www.aa.org/

Narcotics Anonymous: https://na.org/